Alhamdulillah when I was presented with the chance to
perform the umrah last December, I managed to do the umrah three times and
tawaf sunat twice. I spent most of my other time iqtikaf at masjidil haram.
the first time my wife and I went to kaabah to perform
our umrah, I was feeling nervous. I was afflicted with the sins I committed throughout
my life, thus, I was afraid that Allah wouldn’t grant me the opportunity to see
the kaabah. Alhamdulillah, when the mutawif brought us there, and when we first
viewed the kaabah, both I and my wife, did the sujud syukur. How relieved I was
that Allah had permitted me to see the kaabah, which was there right in front
of me.
The first time we were there it was at around 11pm. As
the time moved past midnite, the place was becoming more crowded with
congregates form all over the world. Alhamdulillah, we managed to perform the
rites for umrah by 2 am.
nevertheless, the third umrah stood out, in term of
soul satisfaction. my wife couldn’t make it so I was alone. I took my time to
do the tawaf and be engrossed in it. labaik Allah huma labaik. after tawaf was
done, I did solat sunat tawaf and other sunat prayers plus the doa behind maqam
Ibrahim. and that was the climax as I just couldn’t hold my tears. they were
streaming down my cheeks during tawaf, but at maqam Ibrahim, there’s no word to
actually explain the moment: the feeling, the submission, the bliss. I was
drowning in my own tears, sobbing for more than 5 minutes that brought
sensation to my eyes.
I had so much to say to Him that I felt ashamed in a
way. after another solat sunat, I made my move to drink the zam zam and perform
the saie. I did the saie with ease and in a serene mood. after tahallul, it was
another bout of solat sunat before finally leaving for the hotel.
all in all, I know that this is not the best
description of what really took place except what’s told is only the physical
part whereas the spiritual awakening is something beyond words.
I thank Allah for this opportunity. to sum up, it was
one of the best moments in my journey back to Him.
Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.
-nkc- dec2015
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