Monday, October 23, 2017

the week that was..

Saturday n Sunday – bermalas2an je kt rumah

Monday – membaja sg tiram
otw home from kg gajah

Tuesday – membaja kg gajah

Wednesday – day trip limau kasturi.. peh! Layan..

gua, amran, matchok, ayahanda having late lunch at limau..
Thursday – mesin rumput pagi petang

kebun mandah
Friday – membaja mandah

Saturday – pagi balik pekan sabtu meracun keliling rumah, lisa’s birthday: outing popular bookstore at aeon, tapau burgers at McD utk tgk bola malam nya, pekena steamboat at astaka

Sunday – hanto lisa n arief blk asrama, n get ready for Monday blues
guess which is mine?

Saturday, October 21, 2017


Image result for hurt

Tuesday, October 10, 2017


nia, d wannabe heart surgeon!! one day in shaa Allah.

pic taken on her tenth birthday..

Saturday, October 7, 2017

90 days

It has been three months
But it seemed just like yesterday 

*mak teh passed away minutes ago

Friday, September 22, 2017

Monday, September 4, 2017

all u ever need

Image result for when you're feeling blue quotes

God has provided me endless love
so why should i complain..

but chocolate? yess!! i do want it.
a lotta ! haha..

especially you

Not most of the times
I just don’t want to care
No more
And in my mind
I’ll say
I don’t care

But in my heart
I do
I always do

Especially so
When it comes to you
Especially you

Feeling blue’
September ‘17

just like that..

And just like that
August has gone away..

Image result for goodbye august hello september

Tuesday, August 15, 2017


Berbahgialah wahai musafir kelana yang papa
Lantaran tidak memiliki apa-apa walau sebesar hama
Tiadalah yang melekat dihati melainkan kasih rabbi
Lantaran tiada memiliki sebarang maka kau miliki ilahi


Image result for musafir

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

time is timeless

if you really must know, time is timeless.

if i could..

Monday, July 31, 2017

last raya..

This last raya was definitely full of memories, assorted. Happiness intertwined with sadness.

Happiness: celebrated raya with my family and with bak n mak
Happiness: spent 3rd raya at kak minah’s place in bagan dato
Happiness: went to kg pahit for a day trip with my family on 4th raya
Happiness: Al became a grandfather to Nor Layla Sari
Happiness: Najwa, my niece, got married
Happiness: Lisa received anugerah pengetua
Happiness: Iliya passed her 1st year final exam
Happiness: Ida came back for two weeks from NY 

Sadness: Jandi, our first cat, died on Monday 3rd July
Sadness: my beloved mak passed away on Friday 7th July aged 83

If I am able, I’ll share the story. For now, let them remain in my memory storage.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Monday, July 17, 2017


hu ya! ya hu!

forever. n ever.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

.. the week after

The pain still lingers..
.. pain of a loss

Feeling blue,


Tuesday, July 11, 2017


otw balik dari kg gajah hari tu..
kalimah Alif Lam Lam Ha in d sky..

Monday, July 10, 2017

of sadness n emptiness..

I'm still overwhelmed with sadness n emptiness, if I may b honest.
But Allah knows best n He has decided d best upon my mum.
And for that, Alhamdulillah.

Friday, July 7, 2017

And mak passed away..

And mak passed away
When I still had so much to say
When I still had so much to share

And mak passed away
When I thought she would be okay
When I thought she woud get through her terrible days

And mak passed away
Leaving us stories n memories
Leaving us with so much love n affection

And how I miss u so much now mak
Like how I've always missed u
Forever n ever in my heart u 'll stay
For this love is indescribable
For this love is only once in a lifetime
For this love is sacred
For this love is only for u n only u

And only now
After holding them back
My tears are rolling
Freely n perpetually

630pm 7.7.17 nkc ~ rumah bak ~

My beloved Mak passed away at 12.19 am
13 th Syawal 1438 @ 7th july ‘17


Monday, July 3, 2017

jandi dies

Friday, June 23, 2017

seek n find

- what you seek may
 not be what you find -


thus, empty your mind n let it come, just let it come..
n fill your heart

“elevate my mind…

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

father's day - reply

ThaNKs a lot sayang..
ThaNKs for d heart melting words haha
U mean a lot to me, tau!!
A daughter is forever loved by her parents, who tend to overlook her weakness coz parents love is everything n forever.
So b a good girl, an obedient one, a hardworking one as well, solehah all d time, n make urself proud so that papa n ibu can share your happiness, in shaa Allah.
Luv u a lotta haha


father's day letter

Happy fathers day, papa! <3 br=""> Thank you for being such a good, brilliant n loving dad. No words can describe how thankful and how much i love you. You've always work hard and you dont even complain. Altho it was hard, you keep it all to yourself. I know these words are nothing to be compared to everything you did for us. But im still very grateful and pls keep in mind that i love you a lot and i'll always support you! Hehe.
I'll try my best to make you and ibu proud, and im truly very sorry bcs i know most of the times, i keep repeating the same mistakes again and again. But i'll rlly try to be a daughter that can bring a smile to yr face. And insyaAllah, i'd want to bring you everywhere you wanna go to, and things that you've been wanting to hv. Thank you for accepting me the way i am and thank you for being the best dad in the world! Thanks for everything!
I love you a lot, more than to the moon and back hehe. Sorry for everything as well tau ;-;. Have a nice day! <: br=""> Muah take care! And assalamualaikum wbh hehe.


Saturday, June 10, 2017

karma? or kifarah?

"Allah is fair" It's all the same you reap what you sow, Allah means God, there's only one he just has lots of names and demi gods act like demon brat spawn sometimes. Religion cannot separate what faith brings together, or what Destiny conspires.:

sabarlah wahai diri

Sabarlah wahai diri
Kalau orang tak sudi
Kalau orang tak suka
Apakan daya

Sabarlah wahai diri
Andai penat berusaha
Hanya pedih terasa
Tabah menghadapi

Sabarlah wahai diri
Saat hati terluka
Saat hampir putus asa
Ada jalan untuk atasi

Sabarlah wahai diri
Katakan dalam hati
Tenangkan diri
Kerna Tuhan menyayangi


Puasa semalam.. dan hari ni

assalamualaikum wbh

puasa semalam, setakat ramadhan kali ini lah, adalah yang terpanas dan terhaus yang gua rasakan haha.. memang mengerlip panasnya, gua cakap lu!

 iye, memang gua cargas dari pagi lagi, sebab ada kematian kat rumah jiran, pastu buat keroje sekola, tengahari solat jumaat, petang cargas gitu gini, tapi memang haus betul semalam punya puasa. masa gua singgah bazar balik dari sekolah isteri gue, peh! punya la berasap rasanya. padahal dok kejap je kat bazar tu. tak tau la mcmn deme yang niaga kt situ bersabo, kn.. 
petang pas mesin rumput yang tak tahan sekali tuu. mulut dh la kering, pahit jee terasa.. time buka, makan kurma sebiji pastu pekena ayor teh, ya Allah, nikmat tak terkata. berkat puasa le tu gamaknya hehe  :) 

dan memang pun sepanjang malam tadi time buka dan pas terawih gua hanya sekadar makan kurma, buah mempelam dan murtabak je. selebihnya? minum dan minum dan minum dan minum dan minum sampai le time nak lena..

hari ni? sejuk menusuk qalbu haha 
seronoknya la alahai..

moral of the story? amende je Dia bagi, Alhamdulillah!! forever and ever and ever and ever je..

Wall Decoration 20cm x 30cm:


Friday, June 9, 2017

waktu merindu

Dan dalam mimpi
Tak berwarna
Aku melihat mu

Dan dalam kata
Tak berhuruf
Aku mengingati mu

Dan dalam hari
Tiada berhujung
Aku terkenangkan mu

Dan dalam waktu
Tak bertemu
Aku merindui mu

Dinihari 5 juni 2017

rambling on my mind..

They say time flies when you are having fun. Emm, well, I do have fun but not all the way it is fun for me, okey. But yeah, time flies like a jet plane, faster I guess, now that I only manage to pen down the ramblings on my mind since the turn of the year. 
Image result for time flies
At the beginning of the year, just like the last two years, my family and I, minus iliya, were in kuantan coz my boy abil was going to enroll for his third year at MATA. So we stayed at Swiss Garden, courtesy of my wife’s membership there. It was fun for the children and my wife. And yes, I too had fun. We went around Kuantan: the zoo, the mall, the dinner at the stall along the road to cherating, lunch consisting of nasi minyak and satar at pok su peramu, the swim in the pool and the walk along the beach. And we celebrated arief’s birthday as well, which was on the first January, on a moderate scale
Once school started for the new year, I had my hands full with, yup, you got it right, sports activities. As usual it was mini marathon in January, sukaneka and acara awal sukan early February and before February ended, the school annual sports day was over. Phew! It was very hectic but thank God I managed. Alhamdulillah. Right before school break in March, the spm result came out. It was not that bad but it was not that good either. Only 10+- students managed to score A in English. Nevertheless, I was thankful. At least the percentage of passes didn’t dip below 80%. If that were to happen, haha, the principal would definitely skin me. Figuratively je la.. 
d  girls at puncak 300
Oh, before that, right after the sports day, me and my girls, nia, lisa , iliya and my wife went to puncak 300 for a climb. Happening jugak la, considering it was the first time for them. And when school holidays appeared, I took my family ( iliya and abil were left behind) to krabi and Phuket. We drove there and it was a fantastic experience. The only thing was that while we were there, I was informed that mak was hospitalized for pneumonia. Ya Allah, I hoped she would be alright. Once we came back on Thursday, the next morning I drove down to pj. Mak was admitted into Kelana Jaya MC and my wife and I stayed the night there to look after her. That’s the least I could do. Thankfully two days later she was discharged but she was still weak. At the end of March once again I drove down to Pj to meet my parents. But this time we went to a niece’s wedding reception as well at Pullman Hotel. It was a grand occasion, I must say. Alif Satar was the host for the event and Nia had a photo taken with him. Hehe.. 
alif satar delighted to take a pic with nia!!

d under 18 2017
For the month of march till early april, I was busy with football training. Actually the training started from late January but it was only in march I started to push the team to the maximum. I had targeted for both under 15 & 18 to be champion this year. when the tournament began early april, the under 15 played first. They were very good and I anticipated them to be champion come final. During the semi they thrashed their opponent, Pangkor, 3-0. But in the final they were not playing like their normal self and the game ended 0-0. During the penalty shootout with Bt sepuluh, they lost 1-3. I was gutted especially so after knowing that right after the semi, the boys went to the beach looking for seashells when they should have been at home resting. Takpela. Just wasn’t my day, I guess. And the following week the under eighteen started their tournament and played really well, full of discipline and were favorite to be champion after they beat Voke in front of the opponent’s home crowd during the quarter. But alas, just like the under fifteen, they disobeyed my instruction, played snooker and was at the cyber cafĂ© when it was their resting time, and in the semi, I let them play without my suoervision and they lost 0-3. All this while they had only conceded a goal, and that too was from a set-piece. I felt disappointed with the boys attitude. I was feeling down for a few days but life had to go on, right. In life @ sports, it’s either you win or you learn. And in this year tournament, I learnt my lesson.
Once football was over, mid-year examination was just around the corner. Tired as I was, I soldiered on, preparing my students for the upcoming exam. I knew it wasn’t enough but at least something was better than nothing at all, kan.. one good thing about the exam was that English was one of the earliest subjects to start. I could start marking early and hopefully finish off everything a week or two before the semester holiday. In between the exam, it was teachers day, and as usual I belted a few songs, namely La Bamba and Mungkin Nanti. Layan.. bila lagi, kan, nak layan kepala.. and as I anticipated, I finished marking early. Alhamdulillah.
A week before the holiday began on 26th May, I was free of school chores. What a relief haha. I felt sorry for my friends who had to mark during the holidays. When the holiday started, I went back to pj to see my parents, especially so coz my mum was not feeling well. Stayed there for three nites and mak was looking better on the Thursday that I left. But alas, the next day she was so weak that she had to be admitted into the hospital. And last Tuesday, once again I drove down to pj to see her at PPUM. Alhamdulillah the next day, right after I left for home, she was discharged.
And now here I am putting my thoughts and stories and moments into words though not as detailed as I thought I would. School will open in a few days, and we are now in the midst of the fasting month. I still have the oral marks to prepare before I get to school next Tuesday. I do think that I am not as industrious as I was last year, perhaps due to my age kot.. haha but I still maintain my work rate especially so in sports. Well, I need to do it so that I am healthy enough to do what I wanna do and to eat what I feel like eating without worrying about the side effects bla bla bla. So far, and hopefully forever, I do not have any illnesses. None that I know of la, kan hehe! But I know I am not getting any younger and grey hair is abundant already but the problem here is that in my heart I still feel young. I still feel like playing football with the boys during pj, which I actually do, and I still run 10 to 15 laps with the football players during football training and I play the guitar with my students for our jamming session in my room. I still crack jokes, have fun, be full of sarcasm with my students, teach them lessons vibrating with enthusiasm  though my teaching approach is rather old school, and always animated when telling them stories or giving them lectures now and then. What I gather here is that I feel alive when I am around my students, when I am at school. Thus, when I contemplate of retirement, I always look back and can’t help to feel a tinge of sadness and become melancholic. Still, everything comes to an end and I should get myself ready, physically, mentally and spiritually. But for now I just wanna rock and roll like I used to but at the same time not forgetting that death is approaching fast, thus as a believer, preparation for life hereafter is actually an on-going process, which if I were to be honest, started more than a decade ago.
Does this mean I am ready to meet my Maker? Hmm, a good question, kan. I will deal with this in another posting in shaa Allah, coz this is a delicate matter but as a mortal, we need to be on guard all the time coz we never know when the angel of death will make an appearance. Maybe soon maybe later but surely he’ll turn up.

Is this what they meant by mid-life crisis? Hahaha perhaps, perhaps.. : )

Monday, June 5, 2017

kasih ibu

Sepanjang waktu
Kasih ibu
Tiada jemu
Mengirim rindu

Di kala aku
Alami kelu
Di kala aku
Berjiwa pilu
Kasih ibu
Mengubat duka ku

Ibu hanya satu
Tiada saing mu
Tiada yang lebih tulus
Dari mu
Mendidik aku
Mengasuh aku
Bersabar dengan ku
Tiada pernah jemu
Kasih ibu

Ku kirim doa rindu
Agar diri mu
Dalam rahmat kasih
Rabbi ku

Kasih ibu
Tiada jemu

Sepanjang waktu

Subuh isnin 10 ramadhan 1438

*terkenang mak di PPUM

Sunday, June 4, 2017

end of weekend..


haiku for u

To be or not to
That’s troubling me
The question of this friendship

I know that you know
How I feel for you
But yet you ignore me so

Are you really you
Coz when you talk to me
I feel so miserable

I just want to go
Away from all this
Coz I feel so neglected

The birds are chirping
Singing my unspoken words
Of sadness and loneliness

The wind is sighing
Bitterness in me
The pain is unbearable

Perhaps time will tell
If you really care
And if you really miss me

nkc haiku 20th may 2017

Haiku poem: for fish, I fish-- by Michael McClintock.:


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