A Fine Balance

A Fine Balance – tells about four individuals whose lives became entangled intricately, and honestly, if I may say so, were so messed up, not because of their own doing, but because of unforeseen circumstances.

To describe the story in a word – heartwrenching – would be the best choice. But as a normal human being, I couldn’t help but to hope that their lives would one day get better, and everyone would be living a happy and contented life. Alas, when I got to the last page, (there were 614 pages, mind you!) my hopes and dreams for them slowly disappeared and vanished into thin air, *just like the ashes of Maneck’s father, when the ashes were strewn all over the hills near his home.

Nevertheless from a critical reader point of view, the author, Rohinton Mistry, delicately and cleverly wrote this novel using the unrest situation of 1970s India’s background, embedding the culture and beliefs of the nation, especially of the poorest people, to make this novel an unforgettable one.

A must read for novel’s lovers.

 

·       This was the third novel I’d finished reading this month of March, in between invigilating SPM candidates at a school nearby. The first two were a re-read of my previous novel collections. But this A Fine Balance, is lent to me by a colleague. Oh, how I love to read..

Selamat berpuasa u guys out there!!

 

*Maneck was one of the four individuals in the story

Dear You

 I miss you

Yes I do

Profoundly

A little too much

A little too often

 

I miss you

And when I do

It makes me blue

 

If I miss you a lil’ harder

Would you come near?

Would you be here?

Would you..

 

Feeling blue

nkc

A lil Faith

 a little faith can do wonders, my dear

a little faith

nkc Marcha '22

Mencari Tuhan

 

Walaupun hakikatnya Tuhan tidak dapat ditemui dengan mencari, tapi hanya mereka yang mencari yang dapat temui Tuhan

Dan pada akhirnya kita semua adalah kepunyaan Nya, dan kepada Nya kita akan kembali

2.2.22 rawa 

rimau n balak

 

kisah petang semalam

Hidup ini

Jangan banyak sangat dikenang2kan

Nanti banyak juga yang disesalkan

 

 

Petang semalam, standard routine gua, mesti menyapu halaman rumah dan siram pokok bunga gitu gini. Bila dh selesai nyapu keliling rumah, keluar pagar nk nyapu daun2 bawah pokok luar pagar pulak. Kucing kt rumah ni, si Betty, adek bradek Bani, dok kt tepi pintu pagar sambal tengok ke jalanraya. Dia Nampak daun, dan memang lazimnya dia akan amik daun sehelai bawak masuk dlm rumah. Perangai dia mcm gitu, nk buat macam mana, knn. layan je..

 

Jarak gua yg masa tu ada bawah pokok pelam dengan dia lebih kurang sepuluh meter kot.. gua siap panggil lagi kt dia, “Betty jgn main kt jalan.”

 

Tapi nk jadi cerita, elok2 je ada hilux nk lalu, dia pun melintas. Drebar tu siap perlahan dh tapi bila dh dekat dgn hilux tu, Betty patah balik dan terus digelek. Depan mata gua tu, beb! “Allahu!” Tu je la sempat gua cakap. Lepas kena gelek tu, Betty terus heret badan dia ke atas rumput seberang jalan. Gua pun berlari ke arah dia, n gua tenguk takde pun lukanya tapi nampak gaya mesti dh patah pinggangnya. Dia pun menggelupur, n gua terus dakap dia n berkata, “Ya Allah, Betty, ya Allah.” Bila tenguk dia macam tu terlintas hati nk bagitau isteri n anak2 yg ada kt dalam rumah tapi gua batalkan hasrat tu. Drebar hilux tu pun turun n menggelabar la jugak dia sebab langgar kucing depan tuan dia. Gua cakap kt dia bukan salah dia pun. Dh sampai janji si Betty. Kita semua tengah tunggu sampai janji masing2 je.

 

Gua pun cakap kt Betty yg ada dalam dakapan gua tika itu, “takpe la Betty, Betty pergi la, Betty pergi la dulu, takpe papa tak marah pun.” Sambal gua menahan sebak di dada. Tak sudah2 gua memohon ampun dr Allah n meratap hiba kepada Allah. Merayu agar Allah tamatkan derita Betty. Kesian beno gua tenguk Betty pada ketika tu, n akhirnya setelah beberapa minit, dia menarik nafas terakhir n kembali ke alam abadi.

Gua pun angkat dia ke dalam kawasan rumah, n bgtau yg lain2. Masa cerita dgn diorang, gua tak dapat menahan sedih, lalu berlinangan air mata gua, beb. Hero pun ada perasaan, knn

Macam sekarang ni jugak..

Saat ini gua taip kongsi dengan lu orang, pun masih terbayang2 kejadian petang semalam. Allahu, kenapa la gua tak halau je dia masa dia dok bertenggek kt tepi jalan tu, knn. Nyesal nya jgn cerita la. Bila gua kenang balik, sungguh memilukan sebab berlaku betul2 depan mata. Kalau boleh tak nak gua ingat n kenangkn tapi apakan daya.

 

Betty meninggal lbh kurang dua minggu lepas si Bani pergi. Masa kitorang jumpa pun, jumpa Bani dulu, n selang dua minggu jumpa SI Betty.

Terimakasih ya Allah, atas kehadiran mereka berdua, walau hanya seketika. Seperti mana mereka menumpang kasih dengan kita, begitu la juga kita menumpang kasih n gembira melihat keletah depa dua ekor bermain penuh riang ria selama tujuh bulan ni.

semuga Betty berjumpa dengan Bani , ye. dan semuga kita berjumpa semula nanti inshaAllah.

for now, let d pain subside.

“Dan tiadalah kehidupan dunia ini melainkan senda gurau dan main-main. Dan sesungguhnya akhirat itulah yang sebenarnya kehidupan, kalau mereka mengetahui.”

al Ankabut ayat 64

- Betty si comel -

 

Bani @ Bunny

 Bani @ Bunny is no longer with our family. He died sometime around noon. When I found him after coming back from school, he was lying motionlessly at the car porch. There was no sign of injuries except for blood trickling down his nose. His body was still warm. He had been with us since last June when we found him hiding in the Ranger’s engine, meowing helplessly.

Thanks Bani, for the moments. I’ll miss u. especially at nite during our sleep together.

See u again. One day. inshaAllah

Bani, when we first found him..

Bani eating durian

Bani n Betty

Bani, Betty, Luci, Gemuk n arul waiting for dinner

see u again one day, my adorable Bani