If I Must Starve

 

From the river to the sea Palestine will be free

InshaAllah 

Untuk Sali

Kematian itu 

Bukanlah pemergian

Sebaliknya ia

Adalah ketibaan

Kubur Itu bukan

Pintu kegelapan

Malahan ia adalah

Pintu menuju kecintaan

Apa yang kelihatan

Seolah tenggelam mentari

Sebenarnya adalah

Hening subuh pagi

Jiwa hanya

Menanggalkan pakaian

Untuk masuk ke alam

Tiada kesudahan

Yang dikira mati itu

Cuma ruh kembali

Ke tempat asli

 n abadi

Sesungguhnya

Kematian itu

Adalah hadirnya

Di Taman syurgawi

Maka jgn ditangisi

Kematian ini

Kerna hidup ini

Hanyalah diberi

Dan untuk diambil kembali

nkc Juli ‘25

Nazam 6/7 n Alex 12/7 passed away within a week 

of each other

my brother Nazam

 Nazam @ Ajam, my elder brother, passed away in the wee hour today

He and I were once acclaimed as twins by Mak, probably because the age gap was only a year apart, n that what made us very close during our childhood days

I would often follow him to his Chinese friends' home, either Christopher or King Wah, n sometimes to Devan, for a game of football, playing monopoly or just for d sake of going over to spend time there

D Khan’s brothers ~ Abang Nazam me Al Ajib

When he got a place to study in Mrsm, we would still get together during d monthly trip to see him in Seremban

At Mrsm i would always go to call him at his dorm though i was an outsider

But because I wasn't much different in size, d students there always thought i was one of them

Bak n Mak would take us to restoran Fatimah for d usual roti canai

D roti canai was plain but since Bak liked it so much, that was d place we would go each time we were in Seremban, unless la Mak had prepared something for a picnic by d hill at Mrsm

While at Mrsm, he was so engrossed in music that later on in his life he played in a few bands as d lead guitarist 

I went to see him play here n there, in pubs, night clubs, hotels lounge whenever i could

Nazam too was just like me in our approaches towards our beliefs thus he always shared with me his findings n critical thoughts n understanding 

He had four children, and his two boys also ply their trade in music as well

1990s Nazam Mat Jeng female singer Robot

When he had a stroke sometime in 2014 if I'm not mistaken, it brought to an end his career in music

After recovering, but not fully, he maintained his critical mind pursuing his other interests which were reading n writing

He had an excellent command of d language n his knowledge is far n wide n i always look forward to his writings

The last time i met him was two Sundays ago

He was down with fever n recuperating n since i was back in Pj, I used d opportunity to visit him with my wife n Nia

We spent more than a couple of hours chatting about his situation n his experience n life

He even played a song for Nia ‘Just d two of us’ n shared a song he composed quite recently albeit playing d keyboard with only his left hand

Nazam did complain to me that he was having a slight difficulty in breathing but I didn't take it seriously then

I jokingly said that probably age got d better of us

We even had a stick of cigarette while chatting outside his house that day @ our last smoke together

Before leaving that day, i hugged him tightly n said that we would go Zafir's wedding in Melaka together come August

Our last get together

But God had decided

Last night he complained of an excruciating chest pain. Adam, his son, took him to GH where he was straight away attended to by doctors in d emergency department

They tried their best but at around 2am they knew he couldn't be saved

His children crowded around him reciting prayers n d kalimah syahadah till his last moment

And this morning when i was supposed to go to Kuantan, i left for his place in Setapak after subuh n reached d surau in d nick of time

I managed to bathe him, help with d shroud, prayed for him n sent him to his final resting place

I controlled my tears then although it pained me n i still hold back my sadness though tears did roll my cheeks when i kissed him n stroked his face for d final time

It's too much to take in at this time especially so when we had made plan to get together later this month, d five Khan's brothers but alas it was never meant to be

And now that he is no longer with us i can only offer my endless prayer for him 

Nazam, please know, that i will miss u so much n sorely and i really hope u would be together with Bak n Mak n Kak Aishah

One day InshaAllah we will meet again

Happy moment @ once upon a time

Currently

 

My grandma used to say

 

My grandma used to say

There are only two things 

You should worry about

Whether you are healthy or

Whether you are sick

If you are healthy

There's nothing to worry about

But if you are sick there are two things to worry about

Whether you gonna live or

Whether you gonna die

If you live there's nothing to worry about

But if you die there are two things to worry about

Whether you are going to heaven or

Whether you are going to hell

If you are going to heaven there's nothing to worry about

But if you are going to hell there are two things 

Original or extra crispy ~

Credit to ~ I Am Ken ~

Setem

Semalam gua pegi posto

Nk pos kad birthday utk kklong. Lu tau brp harga setem? Singgit setengah daaa! Punya la mahal

Zaman gua budak2 dulu klu poskad atau sampul yg x gam, setem baru sekupang. Klu bubuh gam baru limabelas sen. La ni pehhhh mahai nyaa

Saje la khabo

Dulu tu pun 40 tahun lepas dh

Ahaks

*Happy birthday Kklong!!

Ditelan waktu

Menyusuri jalan kehidupan

Panjang

Kadang lurus

Kadang berliku

Singgah di persimpangan

Kadang seketika

Kadang bertahun lama

Kadang terus kekal setia

Namun semua

Saat n ketika

Segala peristiwa

Suka duka

Tangis n tawa

Saudara n taulan

Cinta tak kesampaian

Rindu yg mengundang pilu

Cita yg trsangkut di dahan cubaan

Adalah kenang2an

Namun kita masih teruskan

Perjalanan kehidupan 

Bersisa nafas

Berbaki hayat

Dan akhirnya

Semua hilang

Ditelan waktu

nkc @ Bedugul 

Juni 2025

*abg mat dahali meninggal 2/6

Cannot brain lahh

 Food aid is abundant by d border but cannot cross over into Gaza

Saudi Arabia Qatar n UAE have promised trillion of dollars for the US but they can’t even send water n food to Palestinians who are just a few hundred kilometres away

Gaza is being bombed day n night but the whole world just watch the event unfolds as if it is just another show on tv

The zionists are so proud n arrogant with the crimes n atrocities they have committed that they publicly announce them daily

The US UK EU n their allies are devil’s advocates 

May calamity befall upon the hypocrite leaders of these countries n their supporters

 ~ The heart weeps silently 

But surely

From the river to the sea

Palestine will be free ~

InshaAllah 

To be as One

Beneath the ocean

Beyond d sky

My heart will fly

To seek my devotion 

The pain n despair

Along the way

Is just another share

Of how matters play

The moon singing the tune

The stars dancing with the moon

To celebrate the divine

Of soul intertwined

May I rest

Upon the feet of God

May this quest

Fulfil its void 

May i be as one

With d One

~ guala! ~

once upon a story - 11 - "Lari engkau babi!"

 Satu hari Jumaat tu, gua n kaum gua yg paling kamcing time tu, Hamid @ Myed Bowie, ponteng skola. Masa tu kitorang form five. Kitorang pulak kalau ponteng skola tak ke mana pun, habis2 lepak kt port kitorang, bawah pokok ceri. Tu sebab geng kitorang namanya D Cherry Boys. Pokok ceri tu boleh tahan beso jugak la, dan rimbun daun2an nya. Siap kitorang bikin pangkin kt celah2 atas tu. Kiranya boleh lepak la. Pokok tu dok tepi rumah Pak Abu, dan +- 100 meter je sederet dr rumah Hamid. Dari rumah gua agak jauh jugak dekat setengah kilo.

Pagi tu, gua n Hamid terus pegi kt situ. Dan terus naik atas pokok. Cover line. Tak lama Mye, yang rumah nya memang port @ markas kitorang, yang dok selang dua pintu dari situ, pun datang. Siap bawak gitar lagi. Mula2 tu gua n Hamid dok atas pokok tapi bila Mye sampai gua pun turun. Nk main gitar la kononnya.

Hamid siap khabo jangan turun dulu sebab time2 tu mak dia akan keluar bila orang jual ikan sampai. Tapi gua apedehal. Turun jugak. Tak lama tu seperti mana kata Hamid, lori ikan pun sampai la dan mak dia pun keluar dr rumah. Lepas dia beli ikan n sayur seme, dia toleh ke arah pokok ceri tu. Lama dia dok perhati. Pastu dia masuk dalam. Gua ingat settle la. Tak lama mak Hamid keluar balik dan bawak kayu. Dia terus jalan ke arah kitorang. Bila dh dekat lbh krg 20m, Hamid kt atas pokok dh cuak. “Adoiii, mak gua sudah mari, beb!” Gua n Mye pun rasa berdebo n terus lari ikut lorong tepi tu. Mak Hamid bila nampak kitorang lari terus kejar, gua cakap lu! Mujur dia dh tua jadi dia lari anak2 je, sambil menjerit, “lari engkau babi!” Hamid masa tu dok atas pokok lagi.

Kitorang pun mencecer lari. Bila tak nampak kelibat mak Hamid, kitorang patah balik. Sesampai je kt bawah pokok ceri, mak Hamid pun datang. Dia tanya gua,”Hamid mana?” “Hamid kt skola , makcik.” “Engkau jangan nak tipu aku. Aku dh telefon skola tadi. Diorang cakap Hamid dh kluar awal tadi. Dia cakap Hamid adahal.” Mak aii, mak Hamid nk psiko gua. Padahal gua n Hamid memang x pegi skola langsung hari tu. Gua buat ceren je la. Mak Hamid pun membebel n bagi gua tazkirah, beb. Dan dia memang langsung tak perasan yang Hamid ada je dok atas pokok ketika tu. Puas dia mem’beta’ gua, dia pun ciao. Tak lama Hamid pun turun n kitorang gelak sakan bila mengenangkan kejadian itu. Sampai mak Hamid meninggal pun gua rasa dia tak tau yang Hamid time tu baguih punya dok atas pokok.

free2 je kena babi pagi tu. Ahaks -

 

Ronda pagi

 Pagi ni lepas jog ajak Nia k Manjung.

Pegi hospital nk derma darah gagal sebab bp tinggi hahaa sabo je la

Pastu pegi Peladang bayar baja sawit 60 guni

Last skali sarapan kt d izzan

La ni kt rmh n getting ready for skool at quarter to eleven

Layan..

Zionist ~ most despicable people

And the world just stood still. So sad that this outrageous act of violent is a spectacle to fellow human beings. Nothing concrete has been done to stop the genocide. All the Arab nations n the Muslim nations are in the same league with the Devil’s helpers. Complicit. 

May God’s curse befall upon all these damned leaders.

Memang sial memang celaka, semua negara2 ini: baik Israel laknat n sekutu n khadamnya yakni amerika, britain, german n byk lagi, termasuklah semua jiran Palestin yg langsung tiada peduli akan nasib saudara mereka yang dizalimi dengan begitu kejam sekali seolah2 mereka semua negara2 arab ni takut dengan tentera musyrikun. Memang benarlah mereka ini munafiqun. Hari2 dok sembang deraih, poya2, lagho, seolah2 rakyat Palestin ni hanya layak mati je n patut dihalau keluar dari tanah tumpah darah mereka. Memang pembesar2 Arab ni semua sial. 

Nothing will happen but God’s will. And everything will be okay in the end. If it is not okay, then that is not the end. 

Wallahualam.