for life is He

salam.

It is normal to long for the days gone by: friends, places, moments, memorabilia, etc. but the fact is, it can be very depressing. For me, at least. Guess I am a romantic person, coz I can be quite emotional at times: watching movies, reading novels, can make me cry. They tend to be related indirectly to moments in my life. Passing by the places I used to loiter, have fun, being with people special to me, can also jolt my heart. Wish sometimes I could cling on to the past. School days, college life, teenagers’ happenings, ray of these moments can sometimes be very blinding. Doing things without thinking of consequences: going to parties and discotheque, smoking joints and occasionally chasing the dragon, staying out till the wee hour; these are stuffs I went through during my teenage days. Singing at clubs, contests, under the cherry tree, at the front gate of anybody’s houses, wherever, whenever, feel like it was a few years ago those moments happened. Falling in love: to hurt and to be hurt, made life an unbelievable experience. You remember those moments and deep down inside how you wish you could do everything all over again. There are times I feel that everything that took place was just like a long, endless dream. And sometimes in my dreams I would go to places and meet people that look very familiar. But these days most of the times, I don’t remember my dreams anymore. I can’t. I know I dreamt, but it just could not register. Maybe a glimpse or two, but that’s all. Friends. I have had plenty of friends: drug addicts, royalties, artistes, simple people, poor guy, teachers, fisherman, rubber tapper, ceo, big shot, hermit, secret society members, everywhere, anywhere all over the places. Friends come and go. Some stayed for quite a few moments and chapters, but others are just simply lines, paragraphs, pages in my life novella. A few have died: how I miss them now; a handful has made it big in life. I adore them all coz everyone was and is special to me in their own ways. Anyway you look at it, it is in the past already. You may have laughed your heart out till your stomach hurt, smoking pots in the bushes with schoolmates and laughing out of nothing but for the sheer pleasure of the ‘high’ sensation, and there were moments where you cried uncontrollably, or maybe just tears rolling down your cheeks non-stop for hours which happened to me way back in the early nineties on a bike riding from Kuala Terengganu heading to Gua Musang, they are instances you tend to remember forever. Anyway you look at it, it can never happen again, not even in your wildest dream. We wish we could revive the past, and go back to places and happier time, for we want to be with people and moments which touch us deep in our heart core. But it can never happen. Will never happen, not now, not in the future. For they are things of the past. We need to learn to let go. Yes, we definitely will stop along our journey in life, and look back, and ponder, and wonder, but we should never let our mind and heart wander off with nostalgia. It is normal to be nostalgic, but too much of it would be an overkill. Life is a lesson. Let it be a lesson to us for now and always. As a student of life, we tend to make mistakes along the way, but they should make us wiser, and stronger. For life is not supposed to be regretted. For life is for the liver. For life is for us to partake. For life is for us to forgive and forget. For life is what we make out of it. For life is just a dream. For life is He.