end of a holiday..

salam.

I’ve wanted to write this piece for some time now but kept it on hold. why? too many things to be done which made me postponed it.. it was the start of the school holiday when it crossed my mind to write this piece, but today is just a few days away from schooldays again..

actually for the month of December I had written down a list of chores which was quite abundance.

frstly, kebun was among my priorities. I had to go to Jawang, Selabak, Sg Tiram and Mandah to provide fertilizer, poison the weed, and yield the harvest. very, very tiring but worth every single drop of sweat, I tell ya.. it was good to be in the kebuns, drenched with sweat, alone, the aroma of nature was the only companion. the silence in the kebun can be tantalizing, to be with the One.. went to each kebun at least twice, so I guess a lot of time was spend there.. my missus did follow me to Jawang early school holiday. a new experience for her.. while I fertilized the palm oil trees, she gathered the ripe seeds scattered on the ground. she managed around 30 kilos of the seeds, which in farming vocabulary, is quite fantastic. all in all, kebun is my passion now..

my other priority was the family. I promised the children new bicycles, took them back to pj twice, and in between those trips, went to Sogo via the LRT and a stroll in the alley of KL to do some Year-End shopping, went to Book Access together with Ida and Al, stopping for lunch at McD, came back home and bought school stuffs: uniform, shoes, bags, stationery, and this time around since Nabil was going to hostel, he got a lot more than the others. I even took them to McD again, KFC, and even Pizza Hut. we even managed a day trip to pangkor.

pangkor is actually a nice place to visit, if not for the many people flocking there every other weekend, especially Coral Bay. maybe next time we can spend a night at mel’s anjungan spa..

when we came back, we painted the picket fence, planted grass in the yard on the other side of the fence,

and I jogged while they rode their bicycles in the morning.. I feel that I’ve spent quality time with them, but maybe I could have done more.. as for bak and mak, they are doing fine, except that bak had a fall a week ago, and it did cause my heart to miss a beat.. gotta see him soon. hmm..

thirdly, school was also on my agenda. I went to school at least once a week during this holiday, mostly coz I just wanted to see how things were. I had to prepare the oral test certificates for the form threes, which actually could have been settled much earlier but for the fact that I liked to put it off. well, not really that way since when I looked at it again, my hands were tied up with other engagements, tau.. and school is starting again in a few days time. Aggggh! dread it, if I may be blunt..

and next Wednesday, it’s school day again!

oh, before I forget , I did go back to south Kelantan for a one-night trip. it was Lekir – Simpang Pulai – Gua Musang - Perasu – Pahi - Limau Kasturi – Lekir again. at Perasu met up with ku, who as always had enchanting stories for me, then met up with Tie and her immediate family members at pahi. it was kind of nostalgic coz it was almost ten years ago since we last met. at limau, slept at nordin’s after having ikan lampam masak gulai asam for dinner.

oh, yesterday went to kebun sg tiram to plant 10 kelapa pandan seedlings. I’m praying hard that this kelapa pandan trees will bear fruit in another couple of years. and this morning went for a ride to Kuala Kangsar. amik duit hasil kebun, beb.. dapat la satu k sekali pegi kutip duit.. layannn je cruising atas rastaman sorang2 ni..

lastly, come to think of it, I couldn’t have asked for more with what I’d managed to complete @ fulfill @ do @ spend during this holiday.. but being mere mortals we are always in search of something better. tak gitu? layan..

boys over flowers

sarangbakken nan molla

*I know nothing else but love

love is all you need

Puisi Mashor bertemu Pa' Tuan

Puisi Mashor bertemu Pa’ Tuan

tadi Mashor datang ke rumah

cerita dia mengerja umrah

ramadhan yang sudah

pergi beribadah

keluar rumah memasang niat

agar tercapai segala dihajat

sampai di Mekah dikerjakan umrah

selesai ibadah terus ke Madinah

sampai di Raudhah orang ramai tak sudah

nak berdoa pun tak dapat apatah lagi nak solah

Mashor pun keluar mencari sudut

untuk duduk doa dilanjut

tetiba muncul salam diberi

suaranya biasa terdengar dahulu hari

rupanya Pa’ Tuan muncul berdiri

di depan Mashor beberapa kaki

Mashor tergamam terus teresak

di celahan orang ramai yang berasak-asak

ingin dihampiri

Pa’ Tuan menghilang diri

hanya sedetik dapat bertemu

sekadar untuk mengubat rindu

meditasi

Dalam hidup ini semua kenangan pahit harus dikubur. selama samadi, pita hidup dibersihkan. dikosongkan! agar firman Tuhan yang tanpa suara dan kata itu yang terekam. bersemilah benih cinta dan kerinduan untuk berbuat kebajikan. kemudian, secara lahiriah kebajikan itu dibuktikan dengan budi pekerti yang makruf. budi pekerti yang jelas-jelas diakui kebaikannya oleh masyarakat luas.

Sunan Kalijaga

to see yourself..

birthday..

happy birthday, luv!

25^th dec 2011

berkebun

salam. berkebun is the next best thing in life other than..... emm, macam2 yang lain le..

why? it makes u healthy for the sweat and labour u produce while being there..

it also makes u go deep down into ur innerself, and provides u space to look at things from different perspective at ur own leisure..

it also gives u the opportunity to be alone with nature: the trees, wild boars, monkeys, butterflies, ants, bugs, etc, etc..

and the best part is, it makes u realize what u r supposed to realize. u dig that? no, huh? it's okay, i'm not angry at ur shortsightedness..

: )

I

"As you breathe in, cherish yourself. As you breathe out, cherish all beings."

▼

Dalai Lama

▼

Pupuh XIX bait 15

lahir batin keberadaan Sukma

yang disembah Gusti

Gusti yang menyembah
Diri menyembah disembah

Memuji dipuji sendiri

timbal balik

layan..

ABU

kelantan revisited..

last nite, at this hour, was in limau kasturi, mat chok’s coffeeshop to be precise, savoring the teh separuh, which can only be found in limau kasturi..

yesterday morning at 9, went on a lone ranger trip to south Kelantan on my rastaman. the weather was erratic; hot in the early part of the ride, and cloudy with slight rain later in the late afternoon.

by noon, was at ku’s. kak pah was there with bad and kak nik. I always enjoyed going over to ku’s, since this was the place I used to hang out when I stayed in perasu in the early nineties. ku’s place is in a felda settlement, but being the last house in the area, his plot is way bigger than the usual plots meant for the settlers. there’s a pond to rear fish, a stream behind the house, abundance of durian, rambutan, dokong, petai trees, (but not a fruit in sight this time around!) and the best part of al is the meal provided by kak pah. it will always be so appetizing, sometimes I wonder what’s her secret. like yesterday afternoon, we had simple dishes: ikan pekasam, petai jeruk, budu, and mixed vege, but I just couldn’t resist the temptation of having a second and third helping. if not for the trip to krai a little later after that, most probably I would have a fourth helping. it was always like that at ku’s. sometimes we would have exotic dishes such as grasshopper and porcupine. not to your liking? well, you should try them out first instead of making assumption.

after lunch, had a chat with ku about a lot of things, but eventually it led to ketuhanan. as usual lah.. was engrossed but because I had made a promise to go to krai, left ku and family reluctantly though he did invite me to stay the nite next time available.

by 4.40pm reached krai and met cikgu noor’s family after a gap of almost 18 years. how time flies.. all the siblings, eleven of them, were there. how they have grown up; most of them were married with children. we had a wonderful time recollecting on memories gone by. I was there because of zool’s wedding. I got there a day earlier actually with the idea I would be able to spend time with the family. they insisted that I stay the night, but I had to decline since I’d promised mat chok I would go to limau, and maybe the nostalgia of seeing cikgu noor’s children was too much to bear.

so at quarter past six left for limau. it ws drizzling along the way, and the day was getting dark, and I was already weary. by nightfall, reached limau. thank god. after bath, had dinner consisting of ikan lampam masak gulai asam with the standard: petai and budu. thought of retiring early because of my weariness but instead slept after midnite after chatting with nordin.

the next morning, was at the station waiting for the train to pass. since it was still early, met a lot of the kampong folks who were on the way to their offices, kebun getah, at mat chok’s. cikgu fnd, mat pok sar, abe sekoni, ayahanda, and many more whose names just slipped my mind. at ten, left for home. the sky was cloudy, and I was anticipating rain along the way. I just wished that it would not rain until after I had passed Blue Valley at Cameron Highlands since it would be so cold if I were to be drenched. and the worst possible scenario happened: it rained as soon as I was ascending Tanah Tinggi lojing right up till Blue Valley for a good 7 km ride. Peh! talking about timing.. it was so cold, and I was shivering, and I swear I could hear my bones creaking.. anyway, thank god I was able to continue the journey home without any mishap. finally, reached home sweet home at 2pm. tired but satisfied.

another trip to treasure.

fakta tersembunyi dalam 3 Abdul

rupa2nya:

fakta yang kita tak tau:-
- teknik grind telah bermula sejak zaman ini....
- p.ramlee merupakan seorang gitar shredder yang dasyat
- kurt kobain tiru riff smell like teen spirit dari cerita ini...

kisahnya..

ciluk kt youtube

dalam perjalanan

mencari

memerhati

merasa

merindu

menyinta

mengasih

kosong

30 Ogos yang lalu

lurus bendul @ loyar buruk?

salam.

hari ni gua nak cite tentang orang asli di Malaysia. cite ni kaum gua cite pada gua, dia punya pengalaman berkawan dengan depa.. yang menjadi persoalan adakah orang asli ni lurus bendul atau loyar buruk? lu fikir la sendiri, bak kata nabil..

situasi pertama: kaum gua pergi la kt kampung orang asli di tapah, niat nak menangkap ikan kerana dengo cite banyak ikan kt sungai kampung deme tu.. sesampai di sana, ditanya la pada orang asli tu, “banyak ke ikan kat sungai ni?” orang asli tu jawab, “menyelam la, kira sendiri.” adoyai!

situasi kedua: satu hari tu di kampung melayu yang berdekatan dengan kampung orang asli tu masuk babi hutan, lalu ditembak oleh orang kampung babi tersebut. maka disuruh le tok batin orang asli ni amik babi tu buat lauk. kaum gua pun tanya la kat tok batin tu,”panjang ke siong @ taring babi tu?” “tak tahu lagi sebab belum sukat.” pulak!

amacam, beb?

I am

I am just a dust

a flickering one

a particle

not just another article

a minute bit

which has a beat

I am just another planet

in this worldly planet

in this universe

in this multi verse

in this omni verse

…….

I am just you

are just me..

kutugila dec 2011

good things

waking up on a school day..

thank god it's a holiday tomorrow : )

kisahnya..

yang masuk Dia

yang keluar menyatakan Dia..

kisahnya..

memuji dipuji

yang memuji Dia

yang dipuji Dia

bolehkah di terima

kenyataan sebegini

rupa

atau

curiga menusuk minda

tak percaya apa dicerita

…

cerita Dia

manikam jua

jauhari menyinta

laila jua qais majnun

bersatu jua pinta si hallaj

manunggaling kawula klawan Gusti

-ku2-

salam maal hijrah 1433

i said to the man who stood at the gate of the year,

"give me a light that i may tread safely into the unknown,"

and he replied,"go out into the darkness

and put your hand in the hand of God.

that shall be to you better than light

and safer than a known way."

as above, so below

God is very real - a mental energy that pervades everything. and we, the human beings, have been created in that image.

our physical bodies have evolved over the ages, but it was our minds that were created in the image of God.

we’ve been reading the Book too literally.

we learn that God created us in his image, but it’s not our physical bodies that resemble God, it’s our minds.

the lost symbol

sape champion?

obama kena ngaji dengan najib cara2 nak ngencing..

tulus

TULUS …

setiap kali mendengar kata ini

yang terlintas di pikiran

adalah memberi tanpa mengharap kembali,

mencintai tanpa mengharap memiliki,

dan melakukan semua hal tanpa mengharap pujian,

atau balasan apalagi imbalan yang setimpal,

biarlah semua pergi meninggalkan kita ,

asalkan Allah tetap bersama..

nukilan rindu

nkc

the secret is how to die

since the beginning,

the secret had always been how to die.

Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol page 1

kenangan itu..

kenangan itu

meruntun hati

menambah sengsara

meracun jiwa

menusuk qalbu

menghambat perjalanan..

tinggalkan

biarkan

lupakan

segala kenangan

suka duka gelak ketawa

kecewa nestapa gembira tak terkira

kerna segala adalah racun dunia

madu berbisa

hanya adam belaka..

maka tinggalkanlah

segala kenangan

tinggalkanlah..

dari lekio ke manong dengan CDL

9 pagi tadi..

skill maut..

viva la revolusi!

with this kind of politicians (read: UBN), what do you expect?

kasi sembelih sama depa this coming GE.

if not, revolution! is the best option..

farewell, mak..

-may 2011-

mak, @ bainah bt senawi, my mother in law, passed away today at 12.52pm. she was 88.

yesterday, on the way home from my parents place after eidul adha celebration, my family and I stopped by at kak bedah’s house, my eldest sister in law, to visit mak.

mak had been bedridden for the past 3 months, since the fall at kak enon’s place.

however the past month or so, she just kept to her close eyes mode, opening them only during the periodic bath session. it was last raya when I saw her opening her eyes for a long time, smiling to us and mumbling few words. it was like a ray of hope in term of recovery. so I thought. before, she was considered fit for her age, healthy and always smiling, albeit the occasional hay fever. but after that fall, she didn’t want to get up and she kept lying on the bed, crying and complaining about the pain behind her head. then, after a while, she slipped off to her close eyes mode. we would never really know whether she was awake or asleep. but the food and drink given to her, she would continue having them, in small quantity. once in a while she would open her eyes. but that was it. being senile, she seldom had much to say anyway.

-taken during raya 2011-

but yesterday late afternoon when we saw her, I could see that she was slipping away but I just didn’t have the heart to tell it to my missus. then at noon today, on the way to bagan datoh, I stopped by again at kak bedah’s to drop off my wife. mak was her yesterday self. but at quarter to 1, her breathe suddenly slowed down, and everyone there, (kak wan and abg yaakub, nazira and din, abg tapa and kak min, far’ah, kak bedah,yah, abg tahir and kak pau, iliya, my missus and me) knew that she was about to leave us. abg tapa and my missus were reciting and repeating the shahadah to mak. mak stopped breathing then, and we thought that was it, when suddenly she opened her eyes, stared into nothingness, for a while, and slowly closed them back. tears came out from her eyes, and she was gone.

mak, I had the opportunity to be your son in law for slightly over 15 years, and we had our moments, which I fondly remember and will be etched forever in memory, and only now, after holding back my tears, I am crying for you. i’ll miss you, mak..

-innalillahi wainnailaihirajiun-

this is what you are currently doing..

with your hands..

what you see..

mana tuhan?

Hamzah Fansuri di dalam Mekah,
Mencari tuhan di Bait al Ka'bah,
Di Barus ke Qudus terlalu payah,
Akhirnya dapat di dalam rumah.

sape bagi hang tauliah?

sekarang ni deme (read ubn n its advocates) sibuk mengata semua orang yang tak bertauliah, khususnya di Selangor, tak layak memberi ucapan, ajaran, tazkirah dan pelbagai lagi.

umpama bob lokman ditegah memberi syarahan sebab kata deme dia takde tauliah. kalau gua jadi bob lokman gua mesti tanya pegawai jabatan agama tu sape bagi deme tu tauliah untuk menyatakan gua tak bertauliah. mesti deme kata pengarahnya, jadi gua akan tanya pengarahnya pulak sape bagi dia tauliah untuk menyatakan gua tak bertauliah, mesti pengarah pulak kata sultan bagi. dan gua mesti nak tanya sultan pulak mana dia dapat tauliah untuk bagi tauliah kepada pengarah jabatan agama untuk menyatakan gua tak bertauliah.

agak2 hang sultan nak kata apa?

jawab, yop, jawab..

no god but God

tawhid insists that God is One, thus, there can be nothing apart from God.

God is the only being with real existence: the only reality.

for God is al-Awwal, “the First, before whom nothing is created,” and al-Akhir, “the Last, after whom there is nothing.”

God is neither ‘the first cause’, or ‘the prime mover’. God is the only cause, God is movement itself.

adapted from Reza Aslan no god but God

mimpi dan gue - ii

mimpi gua saban malam adalah kabur.

tak nampak apa.. tu la pasal. lama dah macam gini..

gua tau gua mimpi, beb, tapi bila gua sedar je, yang gua nampak

adalah gelap dan kabur2 je..

tapi bukan la selamanya mimpi gua macam gitu, gelap tanpa cerite..

ada kala gua mimpi kat mana tempat tah, gua pun tak tau kt mana,

tapi gua rasa familiar sangat2 dengan tempat tu, macam dah biasa

sampai dulu2.. kaum2 yang gua jumpa pun muka diorang macam biasa gua jumpa.

tapi gua pasti dalam kehidupan gua yang current ni, memang gua tak kenal kaum tu..

macam mana, ek?

seolah-olah gua berada dalam satu kehidupan yang lain, zaman yang lain,

tempat dan suasana berbeza, tapi gua rasa biasa je dengan tempat2 dan keadaan tu,

walaupun bila tersedar dari tidur, memang tak leh nak ingat kat mana tempat2 tu..

adakah ini reincarnation? pernahkah dulu gua hidup di zaman tu dengan keadaan tu dengan kaum2 tu, tapi sekarang ni gua terhijab dari masa tu?

mimpi dan gue

nampak tak?

tak?

itu la mimpi gua saban malam..

kabur, dan kabur, dan kabur..

ku terkoyak, siksa merindumu

aku terkoyak, terkulai.
siksa candu merindu;sendu
jiwa seperti terkuliti perihnya berasa

padahal…
hati telah kusam
lama tak terjamah,
bahkan kukira sudah mati

sebab rasa kutekan, semakin kuat justru menjerat

inilah siksa dalam nikmat

bagaimana kubisa memaksa melupa

- Penyair Glandangan-

a massacre

The scoreline tells it all.

Yes, Man Utd was humiliated 1-6 by neighbor Man City.

To lose is one thing, to lose at home ground is another thing, but to lose 1-6 at home, to your noisy neighbor, that is a very bitter pill to swallow.

Fortunately I was spared the agony of watching the match. I only found out about it when I saw the result online last night. In theory, since I didn’t watch the game, united defence must have been so pathetic to concede six goals, and at home too, mind you. Fergie’s tactic surely backfired this one time. And I read this morning that it was the worst defeat in his career as a manager.

It will definitely take a lot for the players, coaching staff, fanatic, to overcome this misery.

Anyway, life still goes on..