the three gates

dan perasaan..

Dan perasaan

Adalah rantaian

Bergari-gari

Mengikat ketat

Hari-hari

Juga memori

Terpahat

Jauh

Di sudut

Dan perasaan

Adalah kenyataan

Sebuah ilusi

Dengan masa terhenti

Dan kata

Yang tiada bersuara

Gambar-gambar

Yang tiada

Nyata

Dan perasaan

Harus di ketepi

Agar nyata hakiki

Yang dihajati

Bukan duniawi

Yang dirindui

Walau kabir ini

Yang meracuni

Tujuan tulus murni

Seorang insani

nkc

life and death

life asked death,

"Death, why do people love me, but hate you?"

death responded,

"because you are a beautiful lie and i am a painful truth."

sedeh

Tadi lepas gua ngaja kelas 5 mawar, tiba-tiba gua rasa sedeh. Sedeh sangat. Memang kadang2 gua rasa sedeh. Biasa la tu, kan.. tapi hari ni sedeh nya lain macam je. Prasaan gua je kot? padahal masa kelas bukan main meriah je, bincang tentang poems. Gua mcm biasa msti buat mcm gua selalu buat, naturally NK Chai lee.. mriah gile2  menyulami pengajaran gua..

Tau kenapa gua sedeh? Sebab, gua sayang kt diorang. Saaaayaaaaang sangat! Betul, gua cakap lu.. tapi gua tak pernah la cakap kt diorang.. emm, pernah jugak kot, tapi in passing je la.. ala, cakap in general je.. yang gua sayang pada seme anak2 murid gua.. biasa la tu, kan.. tapi dgn budak2 ni, gua rasa macam ada connection. Chemistry in the air, bak kata orang putih. Ye la, gua ngaja puak2 ni dari diorang form three. Tu yg rasa kamcing dan faham jiwa.. jadi bila tinggal tak banyak bulan lg sebelum berakhirnya episode sekolah tahun ni, gua mesti brasa sebak di dada.. tapi sebab gua pandai camouflage, macam chameleon, diorang mana nampak prasaan sayu tu..

Gua pernah rasa sedeh macam ni dengan batch 2007 dulu, batch 2002 jugak.. batch 2007 ada la lagi yg masih keep in touch. Yang lain2 haram! Ye la, seme bz, beb. Busy dengan keracunan duniawi yg tiada henti. Semua ada life masing2, kan.. Telinga batin gua terngiang2 terdengar suara gelak depa seme.. masih terbayang wajah2 remaja depa tika tu.. tapi gua je la kot macam tu, ek.. nostalgia tak sudah..

Well, what do you expect from a romantic? Melancholic and nostalgic would seem to be the meal for this kind of persona. Did I ask to be born this way? Often thinking and longing for the days gone by. Is it wrong to be sentimental? Do you know that a romantic is a person who believes in romanticism, which is like a philosophy on life. Romantics love nature, old things like rustic villages and old buildings, love poetry and beauty, and have a tendency to get carried away by ideas. To get carried away by ideas, with ideas, is what I normally do. To dream away, if I may say so. See, I’m getting carried away from my title above.

Nevertheless, I very much treasure the moments I have had with 5 Mawar more than other classes not because they are brighter than the other classes, which they are not, so jangan perasan la, ek!, but because of the innate attachment that is impossible to be described by words. The moments that we have shared together, like every other moment, are priceless, and I’ll never exchange it for anything in this world, except maybe for a trillion bucks. : )

To the 5 mawar students, I pray for you all the best life can offer, never give up, and always reach for the sky.

Don’t start won’t be none!       …kan!

-some friends are forever-

nothing is enough

be you be yourself

Tuhan di mana? - ii

Allah Di Mana? Di Atas Langit atau Di Semua Tempat?

Soalan di atas, lazimnya ditanya oleh salah satu dari dua orang berikut, sama ada dia memang tak tahu dan inginkan jawapan, atau soalan perangkap ‘salafi’ (boleh bacasalah pi) yang ingin menguji akidah ‘lawan’nya. Ini kerana mereka sudah meyakini bahawa Allah Taala itu tempatnya di atas langit. Jika orang tersebut menjawab di atas langit, dia akan berpuashati, tetapi jika orang tersebut menjawab di semua tempat atau di mana-mana sahaja (seperti fahaman Muktazilah), maka dia akan memerli dan memperbodohkan begini: “Walaupun di tandas?!”.

Sebenarnya soalan pilihan; ‘di atas langit atau di semua tempat’ seperti di atas adalah soalan bidaah. Saya katakan ianya bidaah sayyi’ah (yang keji). Ini kerana ianya telah menimbulkan terlalu banyak perbalahan dan sengketa sehingga kini. Maka eloklah ditinggalkan sahaja pertanyaan bidaah tersebut. Ini kerana jawapan yang pertama dan yang kedua adalah mustahil bagi Allah, selagi ia berhubung dengan tempat, sepertimana yang akan diterangkan nanti. Allah Taala tidak berada di tempat tertentu, sama ada atas, bawah, kiri, kanan, depan atau belakang. Ini tidak bermakna Allah Taala itu ‘ma’dum‘ (معدوم) yakni ‘yang ditiadakan’ (seperti ejekan setengah ‘ salafi’ pembidaah yang jengkel), kerana Dia telah sedia ada wujud dengan zat-Nya. Begitu juga Allah Taala tidak berada di semua tempat.

Jawapan Yang Sahih

Namun, pertanyaan; ‘di mana Allah?’ bukanlah bidaah. Ini kerana Allah Taala telah mengetahui tabiat manusia yang pasti akan bertanya soalan seperti itu. Dan Allah Taala tidak mahu umat Nabi Muhammad SAW ini menjadi sepertimana orang Yahudi dan orang Kristian yang beriktikad bahawa Allah Taala itu di atas langit dengan zat-Nya, lalu diturunkan anak-Nya ‘Uzair menurut Yahudi, dan Jesus (‘Isa) menurut Kristian, ke atas muka bumi, لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله. Oleh kerana itu Allah Taala telah menurunkan jawapannya seperti berikut, firman-Nya dalam surah al-Baqarah:

Terjemahan: “Dan apabila hamba-hamba-Ku bertanya kepadamu mengenai Aku, maka (beritahu kepada mereka): Sesungguhnya Aku (Allah) sentiasa hampir (kepada mereka); Aku perkenankan permohonan orang yang berdoa apabila dia berdoa kepada-Ku. Maka hendaklah mereka menyahut seruan-Ku (dengan mematuhi perintah-Ku) dan hendaklah mereka beriman kepada-Ku mudah-mudahan mereka menjadi baik serta betul”. (186)

Bagaimanapun jika mereka tidak berpuashati dengan jawapan dari kalam Allah ini, katakanlah: Allah wujud tanpa bertempat (الله موجود بلا مكان). Ini kerana Allah Taala tidak memerlukan tempat (dan langit adalah termasuk daripada tempat). Yang memerlukan tempat ialah makhluk. Dia-lah yang menciptakan tempat, maka tempat adalah termasuk daripada makhluk. Allah Taala tidak memerlukan apa-apa daripada makhluk-Nya dan tidak bergantung kepada mereka sedikitpun.

-pondokhabib-

Tuhan di mana?

sidratul muntaha

Sidratul Muntaha

Hidup macam roti.Tiba masa akan expired.

Firman Allah SWT :

أَفَتُمَارُونَهُ عَلَى مَا يَرَى  وَلَقَدْ رَآهُ نَزْلَةً أُخْرَى  عِنْدَ سِدْرَةِ الْمُنْتَهَى  عِنْدَهَا جَنَّةُ الْمَأْوَى  إِذْ يَغْشَى السِّدْرَةَ مَا يَغْشَى  مَا زَاغَ الْبَصَرُ وَمَا طَغَى  لَقَدْ رَأَى مِنْ آيَاتِ رَبِّهِ الْكُبْرَى

“Apakah kaum (musyrik Mekah) hendak membantahnya tentang apa yang telah dilihatnya?  Sesungguhnya Muhammad telah melihat Jibril itu (dalam rupanya yang asli) pada waktu yang lain,  yaitu  di Sidratil muntaha.  di dekatnya ada syurga tempat tinggal, (Muhammad melihat Jibril) ketika Sidratul Muntaha diliputi oleh sesuatu yang meliputinya.  penglihatannya (Muhammad) tidak berpaling dari yang dilihatnya itu dan tidak (pula) melampauinya.  Sesungguhnya Dia telah melihat sebahagian tanda-tanda (kekuasaan) Tuhannya yang paling besar.”

(QS. An-Najm: 12 – 18)

Cinta Si Anak Anjing

Si anak anjing

Berlari mencari

Bayang-bayang mimpi

Di gigi-gigi kali

bayang-bayang cinta

Yang tidak berwarna

Bayang-bayang cinta

Terlukis di dada air

Menjadikan ia fana

Menyalak gembira

Mencair jiwa

Hati terasa

Si anak anjing

Terpesona terleka

Terpaku teruja

Dengan cinta

Namun tatkala

Hujan menjelma

Bayang-bayang cinta

Hilang

Ditelan

Sejuk yang kelam

Pedih yang mencengkam

Berkecai
Berderai 
Bayang-bayang cinta
Menjadi

Beku

Pilu

-Guala- 1234pm koridor pejabat      

*thanks to Aliah for the cetusan ilham

Life Of Pi

Nil Magnum Nisi Bonum

No greatness without goodness. That’s the meaning of the quotation above. Taken from Life Of Pi, a novel written by Yann Martell. The novel I’m reading. Currently.

It was yesterday when I started reading it. Ida bought it for me a few months back but I, being soooo busy, just couldn’t find the time to read it. I just didn’t know when I would open the first page as this year’s level of busyness was totally different. But now that I have started reading it, I can’t stop. And I’m into my 144 page. But I’ll continue on that later. Now is the time for me to write. Write what’s in my mind, and maybe what’s in my heart as well.

Back to Life Of Pi. It’s rather wordiness if I must say. Especially the first few chapters. Guess it’s the writer style. But once you get into the stride, there’s no stopping. Especially for avid reader. Now I am somewhere in the part where Pi, the protagonist, is ship-wrecked. Oh, by the way, have you seen the movie? The opening chapters are a contrast to what you see in the movie. They are not there in the movie. And being movie, it can’t go into details, especially when you deal with something abstract, such as feelings, perceptions, etc, etc.

Pi is a Hindu, a Christian, a Muslim, all three at one go. Pi loves God. So much so that he sees God, or perhaps His reflections, His shadow, in things that are common to the ordinary people.

Life Of Pi is actually something new to me, in that it offers a different element: surprises, humanity, originality, and to an extent life is a fairy tale. But I will not dwell or indulge too much into it since I have yet to finish reading it. My final words would be: it’s unbelievable believable.  : )

by God and for God

pabila bulan mengambang

Semalam,

Adakah kau merenung

Bulan di celah kelam,

Seperti yang selalu

Kita laku

Suatu waktu dulu?

Ketika jasad berjauhan

Tapi hati bertautan..

-guala-

i gave my life for thee

I gave my life for thee,
My precious blood I shed,
That thou might'st ransom be,
And quickened from the dead;
I gave, I gave My life for thee,
What hast thou given for Me?
I gave, I gave My life for thee,
What hast thou given for Me?

12345

little reminder

be tolerant

selepas kewafatan rasulullah

zikir Tuhan- ii

cara untuk ingat Allah:

tak payah ingat apa2....

 

zikir Tuhan

puasa @ puwasa @ upavasa

Salam Ramadhan, ~ Apa yang diluar mencerminkan apa yang didalam kita. ~ Pasar Ramadhan, kuih & pakaian Raya semuanya adalah ritual yg didorong oleh perniagaan & keuntungan. Adakah kita hanya perlu insaf & bermaafan sebulan sahaja dalam setahun? Puasa dalam ertikata yg sebenarnya datang dari istilah Sanskrit iaitu "Puwasa" yg bermakna 'pendekatan'.

Apabila kita mengupas lapisan2 nafsu serakah seperti makan, minum, seks, bermegah, dsb, kita akan mendekati 'Zat' Allah yg wujud ditengah2 realiti kita. Maka inilah pintu kepada kehadiran, keilmuan, kekuasaan & kasih Allah SWT.

Konsep berpuasa dgn bertaffakur adalah satu kaedah bagi mencari jawapan yang tersedia ada pada Maha Pengetahuan Allah yang 'dekat drp urat leher' kita. Pendita2 zaman silam termasuk rasul2 spt Musa, Isa & Muhammad SAW kesemuanya bepuasa sepanjang 40 hari serta bertaffakur sehingga mendapat 'wahyu' atau 'ilham' yg terpancar drp 'Zat' Allah yang Maha Mengetahui dari dalam diri mereka sendiri.

wallahualam.

taken from:
sana sini

esuk skola, da!

hidup dan mimpi

Kata mereka

Hidup adalah mimpi

Namun pada ku

Mimpi itulah hidup

Penuh kegembiraan

Penuh keriangan

Hidup yang singkat

Mendakap kesedihan

Mendakap kerisauan

Kata mereka

Hidup hanyalah mimpi

Namun bagi ku

Mimpi adalah hidup

Penuh pertemuan

Penuh perpisahan

Hidup yang singkat

Mendakap kemudaan

Mendakap ketuaan

Malam penuh gemilang

Pagi menatang ingatan

Malaikat di neraka

Iblis di syurga

Bila kau terjaga

Dari lena

Baru kau sedari

Kau berada di hujung titi

Hidup dan mimpi

nkc

lovely day

say what?

ahlan ya ramadhan

Wishing all of u the best of RAMADHAN,
4 weeks of BARAQAH,
30 days of FORGIVENESS,
720 hours of GUIDANCE ,
43200 minutes of PURIFICATION,
2592000 seconds of NUR.

 insyaAllah.

diam beribu kata

-diam beribu kata-

dan dalam diam 
aku 
berkata beribu bicara
tapi
tiada suara
hanya gema 
dalam dada

bila
bila
aku 
cuba 
untuk berbicara
dengan mu
lidah kelu

namun
aku tahu
segala cita
dan cinta 
engkau tahu
milik aku
hanya untuk mu 
 nkc

yang gua nk lukis..

moments to remember

Last Friday the school sports day was over and done. How glad and thankful was I with the proceeding. Glad because my responsibility as the sports secretary was considered over for this year; since annual sports day ranks highest among all the priorities; thankful because everything went as planned albeit a slight delay at the beginning. after weeks of planning and preparing stuffs and everything, it was the moment that many had waited for.

It was a sunny morning, and it was the first time the sports day was held at the school field after years of having it at the TLDM stadium. The atmosphere was carnival-like: the tents for the respective sports houses decorated with banners and flags, buntings pitched around the 400metre track, flags of various colours representing the 4 sports houses put up along the 100metre track line, canteen operators selling food and drink by the field to make sure the students would not go hungry and thirsty. 

By 1145, the prize-giving ceremony was over, and straight away I and a handful of students started to clear up everything. I didn’t want to wait till the afternoon or worse still, the following Monday to do all the clearing. Thank God, an hour later, everything was done. Phew, a sigh of relief, I tell ya..

The next day, after buying the necessary at the pekan batu 10 pasar pagi, headed to Jawang Kuala Kangsar to menebas the long grass and wild plants. Was there till 3pm and on the way home, stopped at my tilapia cages at Mandah; to catch up on things and to chill for a while. I even managed to go for a dip in the river. It was deep and cold and so refreshing. Except for the swift current, it was an ideal place to be. The tranquility of being on the rumah sangkar: alone, listening to chirp of birds, swish of water, watching tilapia fish in abundance performing the tawaf; was enough to erase the weariness of the sports day pressure and the early morning strenuous menebas session activity.

At six it was time to head home. By maghrib was already home with my missus and the little ones performing the solah together. Thought of retiring early but saw movie after movie before dozing off at half past one. Watching movie is also considered one of the ways for me to chill out. 
: )

And the next day, Sunday, I considered that I would just stay home and take things easy, maybe reading a novel and dozing off to recover from the previous two days exhaustion. But abil called, saying he wanted the mp3, so I left for his hostel at ten forty am, and right after that went to kebun sg tiram. Thought of going there just for a lil’ while, lighting up the debris of dried leaves and grass. But in doing so, the unexpected happened. The strong gust of wind made the fire grew bigger and it went out of control. I was in a state of panic. What should I do? What could I do? The fire was spreading real fast, and was reaching the border of neighbouring kebuns, going at two opposite directions. I just couldn’t think properly then, and I ran helter skelter here and there trying to fend off the fire, to extinguish the fire, using palm oil tree branches. The heat was unbearable, the smoke was choking me, but I had to soldier on, if not for the neighbouring kebuns, at least for the sake of trying. It crossed my mind then that I might die either from the pungent smoke, the burning heat from the fire, or simply from tiredness. Then I remembered that I had a well, dug up six feet into the ground. But I had no container. Ahh.. I ran to my neighbor kebun looking for anything that I could use to fill water. Luckily I saw one. In my rush to get things done, I stepped on thorns. I even stepped into fire. the pain was excruciating but I ignored it because of the immense fear in my heart. The smoke got into my system: I couldn’t breathe and my eyes hurt. my eyes were watery, even my nostrils too. At one stage I was so exhausted that I simply stopped and sat down, breathing heavily. “just let it be, coz whatever will be, will be”, I told myself. But I couldn’t simply give up. I had a responsibility, especially since it was my fault in the first place. There was a moment when I went to get the water from the well I stumbled inside. Luckily the water wasn’t deep but the bottom was so muddy that it hindered me from getting out quickly. 

                After what seemed like ages, thank God, the fire was under control.. All in all I took two hours to overcome the frightening moment. Then only I realized how thirsty I was. Though the fire was contained, I stayed back till almost five pm putting out the remaining just to make sure the fire won’t be spreading again. The only problem was the peat fire wouldn’t stop. I told myself that I would come back the next morning to check out everything. And that night it rained. Relief is actually an understatement, but for now I’ll go along with that, just to show how I felt then. This incident was one of the unforgettable moments in my life, if I may confess.

Looking back, God heard my cries, my pleading, and extended His helps in extraordinary ways that I can’t impart at this moment. Mere words are not enough to convey the idea. hopefully the ending below sums up everything.

 

kebahagiaan

kebahagiaan itu hadir daripada memberi..

take time

don't take things for granted

gua bukan milik gua